Intro [0:00]
Hello my dears! My name is Johanna, and I welcome you to the Johanna Draconis - The Deconstruction Of C-PTSD podcast.
In this episode we will talk about building up your support system - especially about solutions until new relationships are possible, which I forgot to address last time and offered just an answer, but not a solution.
So let us talk about it.

Prelude [0:26]
Like I said, this topic escaped my mind until it was brought to my attention. Of course there are things you can do and build up until you are ready for a full relationship. Your healing progress is a long journey - and good company makes it a lot easier and enjoyable.
I can say from personal experiences that your support system can change drastically during your healing progress - especially if there was involvement from your original support system. Other times it is crucial to avoid loosing the original one.
It - of course - depends on your circumstances, what and how stable your situation is and where you are in the healing progress. Also during certain stages our social abilities are strongly limited if not completely unavailable.
We also keep in mind the 5 points of last episode. We go up in the level of support you receive - and of course we talk about tips and potential dangers. Many of these suggestions have the potential to turn into full relationships over time.
We first talk about online groups, then online games, then animals and then local groups.

Online groups [1:42]
We start with the lowest entry requirement option - the online groups. They come in so many shapes and forms that I can’t possible lists them all. They can be in social media - like reddit, facebook or instagram for example, forums, discord and the like.
Usually they are themed around a topic and it is important to be in positive reinforcing and encouraging groups. Where positive change is welcomed and cherished. I recommend avoiding groups who focus on hating and being against something - that spirals easily.
The potential problems with self help groups we covered in episode 71. The best part of online groups is that they don’t require you to be switched on all the time. If you have a downtime or are not in the mood to talk or interact - then you just stay offline or invisible.
You can perfectly dosage the amount of time you spend to fit your needs and abilities. It also has the advantage, that it is quite safe. Worst case you can just turn the device off and you should be good. Also threats and rants can be immediately cut off.
Blocking is also a nice option. And as many of you surely know, it is best practice to not give out your full real name, location hints, bank details, pictures and so on. And of course don’t send money or be forced to help others by harming or exhausting yourself.

Online games [3:13]
Now to one of my favorites: Online games. They have the aspect of social interaction, still the safety and reward you with happy hormones for playing them. They go from farming together to fighting together to a mix of both. Basically almost anything is possible.
Especially RPGs have shown to be great for helping with depressions. I recommend staying away from games that have a separate currency and online shops. They can inflict addiction and have usually a lot of psychological mechanics and tools that work against you.
If you struggle your brain is especially vulnerable for those and I strongly recommend keeping away from that. Best play games with an upfront money scheme, that doesn’t sell its currency in bundles and any powers - only cosmetics.
But there are so many games that help you interact and play together with other people, while still being safe and able to leave any time. I have so many great relationships I formed with these, but also understand they are not for everyone.
Though I want to say, that most people I met had some sort of struggle in their life and were very understanding of my own shortcomings and limitations. Isn’t it nice to talk with people who understand?

Animals [4:34]
Then we have mens best friend - pets or animals in general - as they have a proven positive effect. Pets have the better benefit for you - if you can take care of them. Especially if you get babies - be it puppies, kitten or the like. Which can be a full time job on its own.
And even more escalates your sleeping issues and your stress because you really have to worry about them. And especially puppies have a high tendency to just eat whatever they find. It is easier if the pet is an adult or already in the family.
A strong recommendation is to test if you feel up to it and like it. Often animal places have walkers to help them walk the dogs or let you play with the cats first if you are not sure if you like it. They help against loneliness and help with the symptoms.
They also have a strong stabilizing effect, give social interactions - the amount varies on pet and species, lower depressive symptoms, some force you to go outside and usually generally improve the mood. I can strongly attest to that.
But of course they require you to be able to take care of them reliably, some need you to say no, some need you wanting to interact with them and you should at least be semi stable. Those have the greatest benefit, but also have the highest requirements.

Local Groups [6:06]
Last but definitely not least we talk about local groups. And it is true - local support is the best support. But also requires the highest maintenance, which makes it so hard to maintain or form while you fight your battles that are invisible to others.
Best way to start is finding local groups doing an activity you enjoy - for example board games, hiking, gardening, taking a walk, dog walking and so much more. Of course it strongly depends on where you live and how many people are around you.
These groups can be a great starting point for local friendships - as you usually know you have at least 1 thing in common. Though it is best - at least in my experience - to just go there to have a good time and for the social interactions.
You are more relaxed this way and things will come naturally. Forcing it only makes it sadly more unlikely to work out. It is also a good way to just get out - be it outside your walls or your comfort zone. Though of course only when you’re ready.
Do whatever you feel like you can manage reliably. Otherwise you might block your options when you have a downtime. Take your time and make it as enjoyable for you as you can.

Outro [7:29]
That was it for todays episode, I hope you found it helpful and that you are safe and well. And as always, if you have any questions or feedback and the like, please let me know at contactme@johannadraconis.com.
More information and transcript you can find as usually under johannadraconis.com and links are in the description. You can also find me under @johannadraconis on Youtube, twitter and instagram.
I hope to see you next time. Watch yourselves and have a wonderful time.