Intro [0:00]
Hello my dears! My name is Johanna, and I welcome you to the Johanna Draconis - The Deconstruction Of C-PTSD podcast.
In this episode we will talk about being tired - something basically everyone who deals with PTSD is familiar with it. You feel tired, low on energy or lazy - depending on perspective. But there is a good reason for it and you probably shouldn’t be too hard on yourself.
So let us talk about it.

Prelude [0:34]
Like I said last time - there was recently an episode on kurzgesagt about how the immune system defends our body and the stages it goes through in “what actually happens when you are sick” - and you likely find the stages pretty familiar. Link again in the description.
And one of the stages is the body shutting everything down to deal with the defense - and you therefor feeling tired and not able to do anything. It also touches on the topic of the scars that remain - but I talked about that last time.
But the shutting down is really a universal response of your brain - diverting all possible energy to defense. Similar to many star trek episodes - redirect all energy to shields - or the military pulling their forces together if they are being attacked.
It is about shifting and rearranging priorities. Energy and resources are just limited - so you have to use them wisely. That is the short answer, but what is actually happening and are signs and steps? And what is the best way to behave?
We first talk about how to know it is happening, then where the energy is needed, then what you shouldn’t do and then what we can do.
 
How to know it is happening [1:58]
So first how do we know it is happening? That we are not just being lazy? Now as said in the video and I mentioned in the prelude, the energy and all other resources are being rerouted. That means you are at work - at least somewhere in your body.
In case of sickness its your immune system that is fighting the invaders, but in this case - it’s your brain that uses it. Therefor the signs are a bit different than with laziness. You for one can feel like you have barely any energy to do anything - and you usually wake up like this.
It feels like being an almost empty battery all the time. Thinking is hard and everything becomes easily too much and you feel overwhelmed. Even by things that really shouldn’t overwhelm you - and often haven’t before. This is the strongest hint - the emotional load.
If you were only lazy, why would you feel this way? This usually shows by being unable to deal with emotional content, be it reading books, dealing with other peoples emotions, videos or your own emotional issues. The system is just overloaded in that area.

Where the energy is needed [3:20]
Which leads us to the question, where is all this energy needed so badly, that it makes us not really fully function as a human anymore? Well, there are several possibilities, but it boils down mostly to either prevent or minimize incoming damage or to repair damages.
Ever had to turn down the music to be able to park better? One part needs so much energy it pushes the other parts to the side or reduces them to a minimum.  That is because trauma is huge - like an oversize load delivery - and the brain isn’t usually build for this.
This is also why we are stuck on traumas and why I said the discovery, that traumas are actually many small parts, was such a game changer. So to take a bite of this huge thing or to dissolve a big chunk of it - the brain has to make space for it and reroute energy.
The more routine and experience you have - the bigger the chunks the brain can handle are, the faster your healing process is and the greater your ability to heal even more severe trauma is. Or in simpler words: You get better and are able to do more and faster.
Now like I said this can be a response to you defending yourself after being triggered, overwhelmed, etc. But if that is not the case - this is a huge positive sign. It means your brain is recovering, restoring and making huge progress in your healing process.

What you shouldn’t do [5:00]
Trust your brain - it usually knows what it needs to do in cases like this and is cleaning house. But what shouldn’t you do during this time, where the brain is at its limit and struggling? Like I said, trust in it and leave it as much alone as possible.
The worst thing you can do is to apply pressure - that just drains energy, makes symptoms worse and slows down the process. I know, it is hard, I still make this mistake sometimes to this day. Even though I know better, but you do get better at it with time.
It is also important to not ignore warning signs by your brain that you are reaching your limit - as the system is at its limit, it is easy for you to get sick or have a rather unusually strong reaction to things. Slow down and relax - so the brain can be done as fast as possible.
It is really counter intuitive and goes against every of your instincts, but to move faster you have to slow down. The same goes with  shortcuts - it is best to take it step by step even if there seems to be an obvious answer to you. Some paths take very weird turns.

What we can do [6:22]
Which leads us to: What can we do? Well, lets talk about actively helping your brain. With more experience you better understand your brain and can communicate with it - with the subconscious section basically to keep it simple.
If the brain is stuck, needs information or a new perspective - it will nudge you towards a specific topic, video, person, etc. The better you communicate with that section of your brain - the better you can exchange this information and the process is faster.
For example I can solve things in days which used to take me weeks to months. That is just the normal development of the skill of listening to your body and learn from its responses and signals - it also helps realizing all kind of warning signs better and earlier.
I can talk about that in greater detail - it’s something you need to develop along the way. What is also very helpful is to have your day planned out, what you do - even if only roughly - and what you will eat. This way your brain doesn’t have to waste energy on that.
Otherwise the best thing you can do is relax as much as possible and with things that take as little concentration and energy away as possible. If they are fun and therefor refuel - even better! Maybe a silly little chat? Just keep calm and take very good care of yourself.

Outro [8:00]
That was it for todays episode, I hope you found it helpful and that you are safe and well. And as always, if you have any questions or feedback and the like, please let me know at contactme@johannadraconis.com.
More information and transcript you can find as usually under johannadraconis.com and links are in the description. You can also find me under @johannadraconis on Youtube, twitter and instagram.
I hope to see you next time. Watch yourselves and have a wonderful time.